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I am a Writer, Artist, Musician and Philosopher who believes the reason to be alive is to learn, experience, grow, influence and if you're lucky, inspire.

I've created this blog to introduce my own literature to the rest of the world in the hope that it will - and I will - in some way, make a difference.

There is a quote by a Greek philosopher, Epictetus, which I love: First Learn the Meaning of What You Say and then Speak. I believe in making life as meaningful as possible, and that is why everything you find here was created with meaning which I believe, in turn, gives it the power to inspire.

I hope you will enjoy reading my writing and be sure to check out my website at for samples of my artwork, photography and music.

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Friday, 10 March 2017

A lingering taste

I met you, you were taken. You were free, then you left. I met you again and you were taken again, and then you left again. We hardly knew each other, but when we met up after all those years, it was as if we were the closest of friends. Your energy was amazing. Our chemistry was undeniable. We communicated on so many levels. I had a tiny taste of you and I wanted more. But your mind was in a different place, with a different someone, even though I felt you lean towards me. You must have been suspended for an instant between here and there, me and and her, as I felt your attraction. I was drawn in. You were so right for me. It was all so wrong.

One minute you were here, then you were gone. I never even had a chance. I was years too late - or perhaps years too early? Was she the one for you? Or might I be? Should I stay in touch, just in case you are ever free again one day? Will you even remember me if you are? Have I made enough of an impact on you already, in the few hours we spent together on that one precious night? Why did it have to be so enjoyable? Why did you have to be so incredible, in every way? Why... just to tempt me for nothing?

You spoke about her to me. It only made me want you more. Your loyalty, love and dedication, your depth and maturity. But it was all for someone else. Why couldn't I be that lucky girl? Sharing those special moments with you? Why couldn't I have had my chance with you?

We chatted, we laughed, drank wine and shared food. Your fingers brushed past my knees as you leaned in and shared your intimate thoughts with me. I didn't want it to end, but I had to let go. After all, you were not mine. You may never be.

I thought I was done wanting people who I can never have. But it seems I am cursed. It has happened again. And this time it hurts even more. Because now I realise that time is limited. Life is too short. It is slipping away, as you slip away -  from me, from my world.

The connection we felt, the flame and passion that was briefly - but brightly - ignited, was that enough to bind us together in some way? Will you remember me when you are there, so far away? Will you ever think of me when you are alone, or when you are with her? Will you miss me in any way, or desire me deep inside?

Should I show you how I feel? Tell you what I want? Should I be bold and honest? Or will that just scare you and drive you away? Is it better to play it safe, stay in touch but stand behind a glass pane, dreaming about you while my own reflection stares back at me? Are you on the other side, ready to open that window? Would you let me in if I asked?

Suspended, between a dream and reality, I dangle dangerously between my feelings and common sense, finally hanging my emotions in the closet for another day. Until I decide what to do. The only thing I know is that I have to see you one more time. I need another moment with you - not to confirm what I feel - that I know - but to see if you feel it too. To give you a chance to feel me (figuratively speaking of course).

What is going to happen? Do we have a story together? Time will tell. But it's the waiting that is hard. The uncertainty of it all. And the knowledge that I have no control over any of it.

Why is life so unfair sometimes? Why do I need and want what I cannot have? Why are the best things  that ever happen to me so brief and far apart? Why did you walk into my life, to touch me in such a way, then walk away so easily? Why can't you just stay?

The melancholy engulfs me as I let the sweetness of your smile drift away. I close my eyes and try to forget the way I feel... but your face is etched in my memory. The taste of you lingers in my mind. I try to be happy for you, because you seem happy. But deep down I know you could be happier with me.

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